Friday, February 15, 2013

SFFS: Snippet #7 from Atomic Zion

Atomic Zion

DESCRIPTION:

This is my SF Thriller, Atomic Zion, which is in its final revisions. The book was influenced by my time as the Educational Marketing Director at Frank Lloyd Wright's House on Kentuck Knob and by reading stories from Michael Crichton, Robert Ludlum, James Rollins, and Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child.

I've skipped to a section which highlights Evie's synesthesia and her feelings for Nick as he tells his dying mother that his grandfather, her father, was just murdered and that Nick is being accused of the crime.

Back Cover Blurb...

On the night of his 91st birthday, a former Wright Apprentice is thrown from the fifth floor of the Guggenheim Museum in New York. The only clue to clear his grandson of the murder is a note written in Navajo code which warns "The Bear has awakened."

These four words throw Nick Vanko into the middle of a decades old international cover-up where Wright Apprentices encoded WWII-era secrets about genetic experimentation into their blueprints. In order to stop a being who isn't quite human from unleashing a biological weapon upon the U.S., Nick must find Broadacre City, the fabled utopia designed by Wright, but supposedly never built. Searching by his side are an old Navajo CodeTalker, a woman who sees emotions as colors, and a Mossad agent who is really working for the Russian mafia. But can Vanko trust any of them?
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SNIPPET #7:
She looked back through the open door of the hospital room as Nick and his mother spoke. A pale orange halo surrounded his seated form, spreading to the fragile woman in the bed. Both of their expressions crumbled and flickers of brighter orange appeared, then a stroke of pink--sunset colors.

To Evie they were the colors of death.

Nick buried his face in his mother's arm. His sobs of apology matched the heaving of his shoulders.

Tears blurred Evie's vision. She took a step toward the door, her only thought to comfort Nick, but stopped herself. This was a private moment between them. They had no idea she felt their grief as though it were her own.
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Find other wonderful snippets at Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday!

20 comments:

  1. My daughter's going to be disappointed. She's not going to like pink being associated with death. ;)

    Seriously, that is a moving scene. Kudos!

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    1. Aw, don't tell your daughter. I don't want to disappoint our youth. ;)

      Thanks, Patrick.

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  2. Just when I'm starting to tolerate the colour pink...you've gone and ruined it for me. Great snippet, very moving and detailed in the simplest ways.

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    1. I'm still not a fan of pink...can you tell? ;)

      Thank you, T.K.

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  3. Superb sequence - really brings home the meaning of synesthesia, as well as making the reader feel the emotions.

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    1. Thank you, Peter. This was an important scene for me to write.

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  4. Lovely scene. Very touching, and I like the association of sunset colors with death. It works really well.

    Brava!

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  5. Perhaps the pink could darken into violet, as sunset colors do? I think she has a touch of emotion-sensing ability as well as synesthesia.

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    1. You are very perceptive, Sue Ann! Evie's ability reaches much further than just seeing colors.

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  6. Lovely piece. You get emotion and her special ability in so few lines.

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    1. Thank you, Greta. That's what I was hoping for.

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  7. Beautiful writing, Heidi. I especially liked "To Evie they were the colors of death." since we in the west don't usually associate those colors with dying or death. It reminds me of Egyptian myth.

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    1. I'm glad you made that connection, Ann, because we find out later why these colors particularly affect Evie this way. ;)

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  8. Very nice - and touching. You show great restraint writing this, too.

    Side note: We'll have to have a 'talk' about pink, though, and straighten you out. Pink rules! ;)

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    1. Ha ha! Cary, sorry to burst your bubble gum bubble.

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  9. I like the fact that the colours aren't typical 'dark' ones. Reminds us that death isn't something to be feared and happens to us all eventually.

    Well-written piece. :)

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